A very happy “Pry” January to all who celebrate. ‘Tis the season to get nosier. Read people’s texts on the subway. Ask your mom if she regrets anything. Watch a bar fight start to finish. 

I hope this email finds you like this:

ALSO, I’ve had an idea I think for next send; I want to compile a playlist of people’s favorite songs. Like TOP songs of all time. I’m curious! Nosy even! LMK yours!!!!

Read Bunny by Mona Awad. I read this book five years ago. When I finished it I immediately opened it back up and read it again. That’s an endorsement. 

Take yourself seriously. Post earnestly on Letterboxd. Get a physical. Vacuum. 

Have a hot chocolate. Whipped cream is mandatory.

Plan a date. Can be with a partner, a Hingerella, yourself. ‘Tis the season to flirt & pry with someone in a dark bar over a negroni (could be phony!) 

Read Joan Didion’s 1961 Vogue essay on self-respect. Make your bed, lie in it, and then, most importantly, sleep soundly in it.

Replace your mascara. Enough said.

SUBMIT SOMETHING FOR NEXT WEEK. In true Pry January spirit, let me cook.

As Doja Cat once said, what a time to be alive. There is much to be scared and frustrated and horrified by right now, you aren’t wrong about that. But angling those shitty feelings toward the people you care about & subsequently turning away from your community? THAT’s how the bad guys (and gals) win. 

It’s okay to want to surround yourself with people as outraged as you are (and maybe your friends SHOULD be more outraged?) but I caution you strongly against going down the road of “I care more than you do,” or “I’m more awake than you.” It may be on some level true - but resistance / informing oneself is not a competition.

Try engaging your friends rather than giving up on them. Send them podcasts and stuff you’ve been reading, even (fact-checked) tweets & tiktoks. Have a conversation with them about the stuff that’s laying heavy on your heart. They might surprise you! 

If that doesn’t do the trick, get involved with causes you care about. Go to events, respond to Reddit threads, stop to talk to canvassers. Put yourself in the literal eyeline of people you see eye to eye with. Community is everything right now. Going inward & getting hopeless is exactly what they want you to do.

The only person at fault here is your loser ex; it’s not your job to hold his hand on his I-let-a-baddie-go grief journey!

In my opinion, you are not doing anything wrong by not telling your new beau. You’re simply existing as a beautiful woman in a digital landscape. HE (ex boyf) is the one causing an issue. 

This dude clearly still has feelings for you or at the very least wants you to remember that he exists. The cleanest, clearest path out is to nip him in the bud. If it’s really really bothering you, shoot him a DM. Or, if that feels weird, you could block him. Softer than that? Hide your stories and posts from him so he has nothing to react to. 

TLDR; nothing worth bringing into a healthy, thriving, unbothered relationship. Cut him off at the knees and call it a day.

Bad, expensive psychic reading? It’ll happen. One time a psychic told me to get off dating apps (met Jacob on Hinge like four months later) and that I would ace all my exams (wasn’t a student at the time.) But in spite of this, I’m still a believer. Glad to hear you seem to be too!

Divination doesn’t have to happen sitting at a teeny table in an incense smoke filled teeny backroom in the West Village just because Kendall Jenner also went there once. Sometimes I consult the Powers That Be via flipping a coin on Google. It doesn’t have to be that deep or that serious, just intentional. You’re more tapped in than you think you are.

Okay, that’s all for now!

Pretty please keep your submissions coming, and I’ll meet you back here next time. Byeeeeee!