HELLO, PARTY ANIMAL!
It’s the Third Third Party. We love it.
This week’s issue is all about friendship. What do we owe each other? Are we getting what we give? Friendships can be precious and beautiful and solid — and also complicated, confusing, or just plain hard. But then they get fun again! Spiral, un-spiral. Rinse, repeat. We’ve all been there. Let’s check it out together!
Actually, really quickly…. I’m hoping to make the next newsletter a gift guide type deal. If you have someone in your life who is particularly tough to shop for, I want the details! Submit for next week and I’ll do my darndest to lighten some of your brain load this holiday season.
UNSOLICITED RECS FOR THE WEEK
David Byrne’s Tiny Desk. I believe it was Nicki Minaj who once said “I used to pray for times like this.”
Air-dry Clay. I’ve been seeing so many people making magnets, trinket dishes, etc. with it. It’s just so fun to make stuff, and this is about as low lift as it gets.
The Muppets. You heard of these guys? They’re the real deal. ‘Tis the season to watch Michael Caine give an Oscar-worthy performance alongside a buncha puppets.
Pursue an interest. You like bugs? Google bugs. You like pink? Wear it all week. You have but one life! Fill it with the stuff that excites you!
Jeggings. Specifically these jeggings. As it happens I now own them in every color and I can’t and won’t go back.
Anyways….
submissions!
NO NEW FRIENDS (IS THAT OKAY?)
SUBMISSION A: I’m 24 and my desire to make new friends is slightly fading. Is that okay?
Nothing is permanent. You will not feel this way forever. You probably won’t even feel the way you’re feeling in an hour. You have so much more time than you think you do.
I don’t mean to minimize that feeling of “doneness” or “wow, I guess this is it-ness.” From what I can tell, it’s very tempting in this season of life to assume the choices you’re making right now are the building blocks of a lifestyle you’ll abide by until you die. But it’s just not the case!
You can always make a different choice, take a new way home, try something new. You can always retrace your steps or throw the whole thing out and start from scratch; finality is a myth.
In other words; YES, it’s totally okay. If you’re not wanting for anything right at this moment, it’s okay to just enjoy things as they are. Don’t guilt yourself into craving some new and improved version of what you already have in front of you.
YOU’RE PERFECT… FOR MY FRIEND.
SUBMISSION B: I ran into my college crush when I was with a few friends, and he dm’d me on instagram later that day to send me his number to… ask if my friend was single and wanted to meet up… I think they’d be a great fit tbh but I don’t think I could stomach the jealousy. What do I do!
Okay literally ouch? First and foremost, fuck this clown.
I feel like I need more information. How close of a friend is she? Does he know you had a crush on him? In any case, there’s no doubt in my mind that the most ethical, most do-right-by-your-girl path here is to at least tell her he was interested - with the caveat that you MUST tell her how you’d feel about it, and that this whole situation kinda stung.
That means don’t sugar coat your feelings here. You need to tell your bestie that you had (or have?) feelings for this person. If you’ve blanketed your feelings with a sugary coat of OMG, hahaha, love that for you get itttt diva, do not pass go and collect $200 (and also maybe take a cold hard look in the mirror?)
What they do with this information is out of your hands, but at least you’re not banking any bad relationship karma for yourself along the way.
That said… there are many, many fish in the sea; his fish doesn’t have to be your friend. And hers doesn’t have to be a guy you spent formative years pining over!
Did I already say fuck this clown?
BITCH, ARE YOU MAD AT ME?
SUBMISSION C: My friend recently moved to another city with her boyf, and I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye (despite trying several times). Now when we text, it kinda feels like she’s mad at me. She’s been one of my best friends since college, but right now it feels like a one-way street. Should I reach out again even though she hasn’t?
Short answer? GET THAT GIRL ON THE PHONE, STAT!
Texting is an evil medium. I’m thinking of that Key and Peele skit where they’re texting and one of them thinks they’re in a fight and the other is just having a lovely evening.
Consider the possibility that she’s just been slammed - overwhelmed with the move, big changes, even being away from you. Part of showing up for the people you love is giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I’m sure you’re picking up on some current of a feeling. You’re not crazy. But consider the possibility that she may need you to be bold here.
Write her a message saying exactly what you mean and tell her exactly how you’re feeling. Tell her that you miss her. Tell her you want to fix it. But then (and this is the crucial part) leave it at that. Put it all out there, what she does with it is on her.
Okay, that’s all for now!
Pretty please keep your submissions coming, and I’ll meet you back here next week. Byeeeeee!
